Funny Jokes



Jun 18, 2016

Little Johnny And The Priest Joke

A priest was talking to a group of kids about "being good" and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?"

"Heaven! Heaven!" Yelled Little Lisa..

"And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the priest.

"Dead!" Yelled Little Johnny.

Jun 9, 2016

Bon Appetit - Funny Joke

Santa was spending some of his hard-earned cash on a luxury cruise and was given a table with a Frenchman.

At their first meal together, the Frenchman said, "Bon appetit!"
"Santa Ji," said Santa.

Before the next meal commenced the performance was repeated.

"Bon appetit," said the Frenchman.
"Santa Ji," replied Santa.

After this continued for three days, Santa got fed up, and told a fellow traveller about it.

"He tells me his name is Bon Appetit and I tell him my name is Santa, and then at the next meal, we start all over again."

The fellow traveller laughed and explained to Santa that the Frenchman was not introducing himself and that 'Bon appetit' meant "Good appetite", or "I hope that you enjoy your meal!"

Santa breathed a sigh of relief on receiving this information. Next morning, at breakfast, Santa greeted the Frenchman with a, "Bon appetite."

The Frenchman nodded politely and said, "Santa Ji."

Who Is The Father - Funny Joke

A kid was crying standing outside his house.

A passer by asked: "Why are you crying?"

Kid: "My parents are fighting inside the house."

Passer by: "Who is your father?"

Kid: "That is what the fight is about."

Apr 17, 2016

Dumb Hunting - Funny Joke

Three idiots decide to go hunting.

The first one says he's going to get a buck. He goes out, and indeed comes back with a buck. The other two hunters ask how he did it. He says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get buck."

So the second hunter says that he's going to get a doe. And he does. They ask him how he did it, and he says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get doe."

So the third hunter says, "I'm just gonna shoot at anything I see."

So he goes out and comes back half a day later all beaten, bruised, bloody, and totally trashed.

The other two hunters ask him what happened and he says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get hit by train!

Locked Keys - Blonde Joke

A blonde walks into a gas station and says to the manager, "I have locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?"

The manager gives the blonde a bent coat hanger.

A few minutes later, he goes out to check on her.

As her approaches the blonde working the hanger in the window, he notices another blonde inside the car, shouting "No, no! A little to the left."

Little Johnny Corrects Joke

The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I had't had no fun in months." Then asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence?"

Little Johnny raised his hand and replied, "Get yourself a new boyfriend."
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