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Apr 11, 2016

Humorous Quotes And Funny Sayings

Humorous Quotes and funny sayings.

1. By all means, Marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher ... and that is a good thing for any man. - Socrates

2. Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson

3. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

4. Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one? - Bob Monkhouse

5. I never think of the future - it comes soon enough. - Albert Einstein

6. I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead. - Samuel Goldwyn

7. I can resist everything except temptation. - Oscar Wilde.

8. Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. - Mark Twain

9. I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk! - Homer J. Simpson 

10. Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. - Mark Twain


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