So often, we forget the good things about the people in our lives. While we may be excited and ecstatic about them in the beginning, after time passes, we find ourselves focusing on the negatives and do not take the time to remember the good things that drew us to them in the first place. By taking the time to express our appreciation for our partners, family members and friends, we not only nurture the good in them, but also build better relationships.
Mirror, Mirror
Frequently, the very things we do not like in others are the things that we do not like in ourselves. It can be very easy to point the finger at a friend or family member and draw attention to something that they are doing that is driving us up the wall. But the reality is that often this is the very thing in us that we hate looking at. We may feel that we would “never” do something, but in actuality, if we are being honest with ourselves, we are afraid that we would do just that very thing. By taking an honest look at what is upsetting us about someone else, we might get some insight into something that we need to work on in ourselves and have some compassion and understanding for those around us.
Look for the Good
Rather than picking apart those around us, we might be better served by taking the time every day to express our thanks and appreciation for the good things about those very same people. In a study published in the magazine "Personal Relationships", it was found that couples who express gratitude to each other daily have higher rates of satisfaction in their relationship and a more positive view of their partners.
Ways to Actively Express Appreciation
There are many ways you can let the people around you know that you appreciate them. Sometimes, it can be as simple as a pat on the shoulder or a quick, heartfelt hug. Other times it can be saying to someone, “I really appreciate it that you ....” You can also do simple things like leaving a note of appreciation in an unexpected place, like a billfold or on the bathroom mirror. You do not need to do anything extravagant, just something that is sincere and from the heart.
Benefits of Nurturing the Good
If you take the time to express at least three good things about someone in your life daily, you may also find that your own feelings improve overall. You may find that you develop a more positive outlook on life and smile more often. Studies have repeatedly found that if you place attention on the positive in the people around you, not only will you see an improvement in your mood and general perspectives, but you also may find your self confidence rising and feel more positive about the future.
Another benefit you can gain from nurturing the good in those around you is that you begin to realize a return of the appreciation. You may discover that those same people begin to want to spend more time with you, see a boost in their own positive feelings and the relationship becomes stronger and more beneficial for everyone. So take the time to show someone in your life that you see something good about them and appreciate it. You might be pleased with the results.