Being Sober - Funny Joke

A drunk is refused a drink in a bar, so he undertakes to prove to the barman that he is sober.

He gestures toward a cat near the doorway and says, "You see that cat coming in through the door? It has two eyes. If I were drunk, I'd see four! "

The bartender looks, then pauses a moment. Finally he responds, "You're drunker than I thought, that cat isn't coming in, it's going out! "

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A Super Funny Joke - The Boy And The Priest

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Unknown to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company. Boy: Dark in here.. Man: Yes it is. Boy: I have a baseball. Man: That’s nice. Boy: Want to buy it? Man: No, thanks. Boy: My dad’s outside. Man: OK, how much? Boy: $250. In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover are in the closet together. Boy: Dark in here. Man: Yes, it is. Boy: I have a baseball glove. Man: How much? Boy: $750. Man: Fine. A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball.” The boy say's, “I can’t. I sold them.” The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?” The son says, “$1,000.” The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that, that is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to

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