Humorous Quotes And Funny Sayings

Humorous Quotes and funny sayings.

1. By all means, Marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher ... and that is a good thing for any man. - Socrates

2. Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson

3. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

4. Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one? - Bob Monkhouse

5. I never think of the future - it comes soon enough. - Albert Einstein

6. I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead. - Samuel Goldwyn

7. I can resist everything except temptation. - Oscar Wilde.

8. Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. - Mark Twain

9. I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk! - Homer J. Simpson

10. Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. - Mark Twain

Comments

A Super Funny Joke - The Boy And The Priest

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Unknown to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company. Boy: Dark in here.. Man: Yes it is. Boy: I have a baseball. Man: That’s nice. Boy: Want to buy it? Man: No, thanks. Boy: My dad’s outside. Man: OK, how much? Boy: $250. In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover are in the closet together. Boy: Dark in here. Man: Yes, it is. Boy: I have a baseball glove. Man: How much? Boy: $750. Man: Fine. A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball.” The boy say's, “I can’t. I sold them.” The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?” The son says, “$1,000.” The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that, that is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to

Locked Keys - Blonde Joke

A blonde walks into a gas station and says to the manager, "I have locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?" The manager gives the blonde a bent coat hanger. A few minutes later, he goes out to check on her. As her approaches the blonde working the hanger in the window, he notices another blonde inside the car, shouting "No, no! A little to the left."

Earn Money By Becoming A BigRock Affiliate

About BIGROCK Affiliate Program The BigRock Affiliate program is an online marketing program where affiliates promote BigRock products to their friends, family, customers etc and are paid attractive commissions for every successful purchase. Once you sign-up, you will receive a URL from BigRock (http://.bigrock.in). This URL will be your website from where you can sell BigRock products and start earning Commissions. In case you already have a Website / Blog, all you need to do is place BigRock banners or text links on your website, blog, facebook/twitter page and drive visitors to your unique URL and earn commissions. What products can you promote? As an affiliate, you can sell all BigRock Products. The Products include: Domain Name Registration Website Hosting Email Hosting Do-it-Yourself Website Builder Tool Build-it-For-Me Professional Web Design Service Digital Certificates. You can Signup by following this direct link : http://www.bigrock.in/affiliate

INKJAM

Search This Blog